Life as We Know It
by I-Like-Pie-Too-Dean
Summary: Stealing magic was forbidden, unless you are Artemis Fowl that is. After missing for 3 years in the real world, Artemis returns from Hybras and finds a letter to a magical school addressed to him? What in the world? Fifth year OOTP, Pre-Time Paradox
1. A Letter from Where?

**So I have always loved Artemis Fowl, but have never really found an inspiration in writing a fanfiction of it because, really, it was just awesome the way it was and I doubt I could ever change it...ever.**

**So this is my attempt at a X-over with Harry Potter! These two series are definetly my fav and this will take place after 'The Lost Colony' and before 'The Time Paradox' as well as during 'The Order of the Pheonix'. **

**Will include Snarky Slytherins, the naive D.A, meddlesome bodyguards, worrying parents and annoying little brothers, pesky faries who are the biggest party poopers, one old mouldy wart, twinkling blue eyes, destifying plans, scaring ickle firsties and of course, just plain old Artemis Fowl being...well, Artemis Fowl.**

**Hopefully that will give you some idea of the story ahead! (Not much detail but you should get the overall picture...hopefully!)**

**Please read and review!**

**:)**

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**Life as We Know It**

Chapter 1

When Artemis Fowl had gotten back from his eventful space and time tripping from Hybras, he had noticed three things.

One, he had been gone for nearly three years and his parents had happened to have a pair of twins which was less than shocking to Artemis. Three years was a long time and with a child gone, his parents must have been comforting each other one way or another.

Secondly, he had been able to literally grab some of the magic which had been present in the time tunnel and absorbing it into himself. In addition to this, he and Holly had switched an eye each and now he had one deep blue and one hazel respectively.

And thirdly, upon returning back to the manor and having erased his parents memory of his absence, he found an owl perched on the silken covers of his king sized bed in his room, an envelope clasped within its' mouth.

Artemis stood eyeing the bird, entering a sort of staring competition with the tawny brown owl, its' large eyes unblinking as Artemis stood in the doorway of his room.

Calling out to his body guard whom he knew was nearby he said, "Butler? Did you happen to acquire a nocturnal bird lately or is it just coincidence that an owl is atop of my exquisite Italian silk bed covers."

Butler ambled over; three years of hiding away hadn't stopped him from training, although his age was finally starting to settle in. Peering above the young man's head into the room he was a little taken aback by the presence of the bird before he stepped over the entrance and tried to shoo the bird off, only to have the bird stare blankly at him in return.

Artemis watched with avid curiosity as the bird seemed unfazed by Butlers' attempts to remove the bird. It was a lot more intelligent than the rest of its' species which Artemis had once read about in one of his mothers' bird books.

Walking into the room which had been void of life for three years had Artemis nostalgic at his past self, although for him it was merely a week or so ago, for the rest of the real world it was three years.

Approaching the bird he merely stuck out an arm, the bird seemingly understanding his wish as it took flight and landed gracefully with a flutter of feathers onto his sleeved arm, the envelope still held within its' beak.

As Artemis lifted his hand slowly to grasp the paper, giving Butler a small glare at the worried expression on his old friends face as he rolled his eyes and clasped the envelope within his hand.

The bird, now freed of its' package set flight with a hoot and exited from the open window.

It seemed the his mother had decided to air the room out for him upon learning of his arrival from Butler a few days back because as he looked around the large room, it seemed cleaned of any dust or grim which should have been present after his prolonged period of disappearance.

Upon closer inspection of the letter within his hands, Artemis noted with a careful eye that the letter was parchment, and seemed to be written in ink and quill from the scratch marks of his name and address on the front of the envelope.

_Mr. Artemis Fowl_

_Fowl Manor, Outskirts of Dublin_

_Ireland_

"How strange…" Artemis mused to himself, a quirk of a smile lifting one corner of his mouth. He sensed that there was magic within the paper.

Artemis felt another adventure coming on and he hadn't even been home for 24 hours yet.

"Artemis…you should be wary, who knows if that might contain a bomb or a death thread written in a poisonous ink which upon inhalation will kill you," Butler said as he stepped forward towards his charge cautiously.

Artemis waved a dismissive hand at his body guard, disregarding his suspicions as he drawled, "Butler, there is magic in this paper. I can feel it. There is nothing at all dangerous nor life-treating in anyway in this simple letter. Trust me old friend."

Gingerly turning over the parchment envelope, his fingers grazed across a wax sealed stamp with an unknown crest. It wasn't often that Artemis came across a stamp he didn't recognise, and his interest was perked at the shield stamped onto the paper, his fingers tracing the large 'H' which was centred between four different animals.

"Snake…Lion…Eagle and a Badger?" the boy genius said aloud, his eyebrows raised as he racked his brain to find any information he might had read.

Seeing as he recalled nothing, he gently lifted the flap with a long pianist's finger, his finger starch white against the yellowed paper as he carefully opened the letter, keeping the seal intact for later reference.

Pulling out a folded piece of parchment, Artemis read to his other companion within his room,

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL  
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_  
_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Mr. Fowl,_  
_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_You are the first transfer student Hogwarts is to ever see and you will be entering into the schools' fifth year. A glitch seemed to have occurred within out birth registry as your name has only appeared in the past month, something which has never happened before. _

_A wizard will be arriving shortly after this letter to explain to you the magical world and the school which you will be attending, one of the finest magical schools within Hogwarts. _

_Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

_Yours Sincerely._

_Minerva McGonagall,_  
_Deputy Headmistress_

Artemis paused after he finished reading the letter, his aristocratic face marred by a small frown. A magical school for witches and wizards?

Sure, Artemis had dealt with magic before, his scuffling with the underground Lower Elements Police Recon officers had taught him as much. But even Artemis had a bit of trouble wrapping his head around a magical school which he was to attend to?

"…" Butler was silent, his mouth slightly agape as his young master had read out the letter, more than shell shocked at the information which the simple piece of parchment contained.

"How very interesting," was all Artemis said before another slip of parchment fell from his hands. Bending down to pick up with pale fingers, he straightened up and read the letter aloud once more.

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_Uniform:_  
_First year students will require:_  
_1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)_  
_2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear_  
_3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)_  
_4. One winter cloak (black with silver fastenings)_

_Set Books_  
_All Students should have a copy of the following:_  
_The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk_  
_A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot_  
_Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling_  
_A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch_  
_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllis Spore_  
_Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger_  
_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander_  
_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble_

_Other Equipment_  
_1 wand_  
_1 cauldron (pewter standard size 2)_  
_1 set of glass or crystal phials_  
_1 telescope_  
_1 set of brass scales_

_Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad._

_PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS._

"…This must be some sort of sick joke, maybe it was Minerva…I mean, her name is even written in there," Butler tried to come up with an excuse, not even believing in the slightest that this was indeed true.

It had taken him a while to come to terms with the lower magical elements which his charge had discovered when he was mere 12 year old boy genius who happened to have an avid curiosity for taking over the world.

But now…now there was supposedly a race of wizards and witches who dwelled above the crust of the earth? If so, why had it taken the young man 4 years to even hear of the place?

It was one thing for Artemis Fowl to not know something but it was a whole other level when there was a magical community out there which he had not yet discovered.

"No, no," Artemis said simply with a shake of his head, "would Minerva be in possession of magic like I am? I highly doubt it."

Butler looked close to exasperated at his young charge, how could he believe it so easily? It was a wander that Artemis was so calm.

Questioning his charge he asked, "Artemis…how can you be so…open minded about this? It's one thing when we discovered that fairies and centaurs and goblins and dwarves and all those other magical creatures existed beneath our feet at the core of the earth, but really, wizards?"

"I am open minded to this Butler my dear friend as I am sure that this can only be real," Artemis replied, "and I am quite sure that this wizard will be arriving soon to explain it in thorough detail for us."

As if on que, his mother called up the stairs in her warm voice which waved slightly with concern.

"Arty?" the voice echoed up the staircase and through his open door, "there is a man called a Mr. Albus Dumbledore here to see you? He's at the gate right now…"

Artemis turned to his body guard with a blank expression on his face as his lips curled ever so slightly as he said, "see?"

Quickly checking that he was presentable in the mirror he turned on his heel and made his way down the stair case, replying to his mother's call with, "you can let him in mother. And send him into the waiting room; I have important business to discuss with this man."

Butler could only sigh before he followed the young man whom he hadn't seen in three years out of his room, wondering how on earth the boy could get into so much trouble. It must just be the fact that he happened to find trouble, it never came to him…well, this time it did.

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**A bit of a reference to Harry as he always says that trouble finds him...well, yeah...that's how I see it anyway.**

**Hopefully I portrayed a pretty believable Artemis although with Butler he is going to be nice(er) than he usually is because, well give the man a break! His charge had been missing for 3 years and I doubt Artemis is going to refer back to his snarky 14 year old self so quickly!**

**Well, just wait till he gets to Hogwarts or even before then...snarky Arty with Dumbles! Ohh, this is definetly going to be alot of fun!**

**Will reletivly be a very light hearted series with mostly comedy (my attempts at) and maybe might, if I ever get round to it darker as obviously the ending of the Order of the Pheonix is just down right sad...**

**Reviews are always appreciated!**


	2. I Hereby Sort You

**Here is the long awaited chapter 2! I appreciate all the reviews I recieved for the first chapter so I hope that you all like the second chapter just as much!**

**Reviews are always welcome!**

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Chapter 2

Artemis walked down the grand staircase from his room, his hand running along the polished banister as he held his head high. This meeting needed to be held with utmost care as well as needing to be executed with expert precision.

This meeting with the wizard in the waiting room was crucial as Artemis needed to find out as much as he could about this new magical world, this was essential.

The male found himself slipping into his old self, the excitement of a whole new civilisation making his fingers tingle, the reminiscence of his twelve year old self slipping into his mind.

Pausing before the mirror against the wall to check his appearance once more, Artemis walked towards the correct room where this Mr. Dumbledore was waiting for him, calming his nerves and slipping his game face on.

Opening the large oak double doors, swinging them in almost dramatically as he stood in the doorway, looking around the room before his gaze landed on the most peculiar man he had ever seen.

Butler had followed Artemis from his room, and although he stood behind his charge, he too was able to see this man who was seated in one of the plush armchairs. Butler was shocked by his appearance, and he quickly turned to Artemis he was amused to see the cringe on his face.

Artemis was appalled by this man's overall appearance.

If Artemis was any other normal human, he might have let his jaw drop but then again, Artemis was far from normal. He had far too much dignity to pull such a foolish and comical expression so he just settled on cringing.

Who on earth wore turquoise bath robes outside in public let alone grew a beard which would have given Mulch Diggums a run for 'how many different types of food I can find inside my facial hair'.

That added to the fact that the man was smiling at Artemis. _Smiling_ at _him_.

Artemis Fowl the Second, the boy known around (and under) the world for his evil mastermind plans to potentially take over all humanity (and haven).

Now he had an old man _smiling_at him. Artemis couldn't help but think of how far he must have sunk if an old man was being friendly with him. His reputation really must be falling Artemis decided as he made note to go something dastardly evil later to make up for his drop in status.

"Welcome," Artemis said, collecting himself from his early embarrassment of ogling the man's appearance.

The man stood and Artemis noted that the man's beard actually reached his waist as he felt a nerve tick in his brow at the atrocity of facial hair growing from this Mr. Dumbledore's face.

Ignoring the man's appearance, Artemis continued, "I'm Artemis Fowl the Second and I must assume that you are Mr. Dumbledore?"

"That I am," the man said in reply, his eyes twinkling.

Artemis repressed a shudder at the twinkle.

The man didn't seem to notice as he introduced, "I'm Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Pleasure Artemis. Interesting name, for the female Greek Goddess of Hunting."

Artemis felt that nerve tick again, replying smoothly, "despite the female origin, my name sake can also be masculine, as you can see."

Artemis had always been touchy about being named after a woman, goddess or not.

If Artemis ever got about to inventing a time machine (still a work in progress unfortunately), he would go back in time and give his parents a baby book with more suitable names highlighted, something like…Zeus or something.

Dumbledore merely nodded in understanding, catching the gaze of Butler as he asked, "and who is your friend Artemis?"

"This is Butler," Artemis replied, waving his hand towards the giant of a man.

"I suppose he is not your butler is he?" Dumbledore said with a chuckle.

"No, he's my bodyguard and a good friend," Artemis said simply.

As if proving a point, Butler let his hand fall to the bulge at his side where his trusty saucer was concealed.

Dumbledore smiled as he noted the gesture of the bodyguard, "ah, interesting."

Butler just smiled politely although anyone could easily see the underlying predatory glint in the man's eyes.

Artemis walked into the room and took the seat across from Dumbledore as he crossed his legs, his hands folded in his lap, "now, shall we begin Mr. Dumbledore. I assume that you are the wizard who was sent here to relay all the information about the magical world to me?"

"Correct Artemis," Dumbledore said with a smile as the crinkles around his blue eyes deepened, "there has never been a mistake like this before with the birth registry for magical children but there is a first for everything."

"So, magic?" Artemis questioned.

"Yes."

Artemis decided to act naïve about his knowledge of the magical world, of fairies and of dwarves and whatnot, asking Dumbledore, "Why should I believe some elderly man who comes to my manor sprouting nonsense like magic is real? That there is actually an unknown secret school where children are taught to control and wield magic to their will in Scotland which I have been invited to attend?"

Dumbledore merely smiled, pulling out a long wooden stick from his pocket.

Artemis could only assume that it was a wand from the situation, although this 'magic' seemed to be different from the 'magic' that the fairy people possessed and he too possessed.

"This is my wand," Dumbledore explained.

_You__bet__it__is__…_ Butler thought to himself with a mental snort of amusement.

In reality, Dumbledore continued to speak, "this is what I channel my magic through to perform various spells or charms."

"Show me," Artemis all but ordered.

Dumbledore merely stared at the young raven male before he pointed the wooden stick towards a cupboard pressed up against the wall behind Artemis's chair.

It burst into flames as Artemis just stared on with an unamused expression as he raised a thin brow, "and? Is that all?"

"You have some things that don't belong to you hidden away there I think Artemis," Dumbledore said with a kind smile to which Artemis just stared back neutrally.

"Sir, if you are to burn everything which has something stolen in it I'm afraid you might have to burn down the entire estate," Artemis stated.

Dumbledore let a frown mar his face as Artemis continued, "besides, something like that even Butler can do."

Waving his hand towards his trusted friend, Butler understood the unsaid order as he walked over to a wall, tapped a hidden switch which was concealed within one of the tapestries as a section of the wall rotated to reveal a hidden armoury.

The bald man walked in, searching through the various weapons before he grabbed a rather large looking machine and walking back out.

Aiming the end of the barrel at the cupboard which stood beside the still burning wardrobe, Butler pulled the trigger, a ball of flaming red bursting from the end as it hit the aimed target as it was engulfed in fire.

Artemis smiled politely at Dumbledore, his eyes showing the smug emotion which the young boy was feeling, the hazel and blue contrasting so vastly together.

Dumbledore just stared at the machine which the bodyguard held within his hands with fascinated interest.

"I see you have already found a way to complete the same task," Dumbledore conclude from the observation.

Dumbledore flicked his wand towards the wardrobe as it ceased burning and was once again in its' original state.

Artemis glanced at Butler who nodded, walking over to the hidden room in the wall once more as he grabbed another gun and walked out, this one shooting out a jet of water which put out the fire effectively although it left a charred mess of burnt wood on the carpet.

Dumbledore smiled to himself as if he had won.

Artemis almost laughed. The man was underestimating the name of Fowl.

Slipping out his cell phone, Artemis clicked his speed dial, calling up a black market dealer who happened to have a debt to be paid to the Fowl family.

Speaking into the phone, Artemis said, "Mr. Hansel, I want you to get me a 1864 Lobiel Kristian design wardrobe…yes, the same one I had bought of you…no, I don't have any interest in the fact that the only other known person with such an item is the Queen of England…it's the only other one? They were constructed as a pair you say? Well, I want the other half now I'm expecting the delivery, no exceptions."

Artemis snapped the cellphone shut, cutting off the man on the other end's ramblings which could be heard through the speaker before it died when it closed.

Artemis smiled at the elderly male, saying, "well, I can have that replaced in no time."

"How about I do that for you," Dumbledore offered as with one quick _reparo_ later the closet had reverted from a pile of smoking ash to its perfect polished cherry red wooden cupboard.

Artemis just stared, his brain calculating all the possibilities of magic and what assets he could gain in return.

Lacing his fingers together under his chin, resting his elbows against the arm rests of the high back chair he sat in. Pausing for a moment, Artemis had to organise his words carefully as he spoke, "what else is there you can do?"

"You will learn much more high level magic later on," Dumbledore replied with an amused smile.

The young boy contemplated this as he sat there, finally nodding his head.

"I understand…"

"Smashing," Dumbledore replied.

Artemis's mind was whirling with all the thoughts of further advancement for Fowl's enterprise and the gain he could have economically with magic at his aid.

He had for so long relied on technological advancements, even with the knowledge that magical beings lived under the crust of the earth, he still did not possess their magic which healed, controlled and destroyed.

He was thrilled.

Nodding once towards Butler, said man closed up the room and let the dead lock slid back in. Standing back behind Artemis, Butler folded his arms across his chest, his face blank.

"Now," Dumbledore continued, "even though you haven't gone through the first four years of schooling at Hogwarts, you will be entering with the other fifth years who will all roughly be the same age as you. You will need to catch up on the past four years of work by being tutored by the Professors in additional classes as it will be essential for your schooling."

"I don't think that is necessary sir," Artemis stated, "I'm sure that if you provide me with the learning materials I can teach everything myself in time for the start of the school year.

Dumbledore seemed to pause at this though, scrutinising Artemis with his bright cerulean gaze before he nodded, replying, "Of course Artemis. If you think you can learn it all. I am worried though for the practical learning of magic. You are not allowed to practice that outside of the school grounds as you are underage, so that will pose a potential hindrance to your studies."

The old headmaster looked on at Artemis with concern in his eyes, continuing, "these are dark times in the wizarding world, dark times. I fear that you may not be able to protect yourself due to your inexperience."

Artemis merely smiled politely, saying almost sweetly, "why, that is why I have Butler with me."

"I'm afraid that he may not be able to attend Hogwarts with you Artemis," Dumbledore explained.

Artemis was about to speak when Butler cut him off, stepping in between the two chair as he stated, "I am not leaving him, I don't care for your school or whatever. I've been by Artemis's side since the second he was born and I will not leave."

Dumbledore seemed to take Butler's tone seriously as he said, "well, I'm sure that the school will need someone of your expertise within although I doubt your…weapons will work within the grounds as magic seems to interfere with modern technology."

"I assure you these weapons work just fine," Artemis said, once again taking control of the situation.

He liked to be in control.

Dumbledore only nodded with another smile and blue twinkle of his eyes.

Artemis was sure that the tick in his forehead would soon become permanent if he stayed around the elderly male any longer than it was necessary.

Forcing a smile easily, Artemis asked, "so Sir, where can I purchase these educational books as well

"Those can be bought from Diagon Alley but before that, you need to be sorted in order to purchase the correct robes and clothes for you house," Dumbledore said, standing up as he pulled out from his pocket a rather withered looking hat.

"This is the sorting hat and it will decide for you which out of four houses will be suitable for you," the Headmaster explained, "there is Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. These four houses have different attributes in which someone is sorted."

Dumbledore paused to smile at Artemis, "you must place the sorting hat on your head and we'll be able to determine which house to put you in."

The young boy only looked on in disgust at the hat, saying slowly, "I have to put that…atrocity on my head?"

"I'm afraid so Artemis," Dumbledore merely said in reply, amusement written across his face.

Artemis looked at the weathered and tattered hat, his eyes narrowing before he looked away, stating, "if you must."

"Thank you Artemis," Dumbledore said as he began to walk forward, smiling at Butler in reassurance who had grabbed at the gun holstered to his side.

Butler didn't know if this process was about to hurt his charge but if it did, Butler was sure he'd be able to pull three rounds into the old geezers forehead before he touched a single hair on Artemis's head.

Dumbledore carefully placed the sorting hat on the raven haired boy, standing back as he waited for the final answer.

Artemis didn't know what to expect as the hat was lowered on to his head, although he was sure he wasn't expecting this.

The hat was _talking_ to him.

'_Well, __what __do __we __have __here __hm?__'_ the voice said within his mind as Artemis sat in his chair.

'_I __assume __you __must __be __what __will __determine __which __house __I __will __be __sorted __into?__'_ Artemis stated.

'_That __is __correct __child__…__but __you __are __not __a __child, __much __older __than __I __have __ever __sorted __before,__'_ the hat stated in an almost amused tone, _'__and __what __a __fascinating __mind __you __have __too.__What __shall __I __do __with __you __Artemis __Fowl __the __Second, __friend __of __the __fairies, __what __shall __I __do __with __you__…'_

Artemis sat there patiently, replying to the talking hat, _'__could __you __speed __up __the __decision __then, __I__'__d __rather __not __have __you __on __my __head __for __longer __than __necessary.__'_

'_Well, __you __have __the __ability __to __surpass __even __the __Ravenclaws, __so __placing __you __there __would __only __cause __chaos __within __the __house __with __a __genius __there,__'_ the sorting hat had to mull this over carefully. This was essential.

'_And __Slytherin __would __be __the __house __for __you __if __it __were __not __for __your __recent __change __of __heart,__' _the hat continued, _'__if __I __had __sorted __you __when __you __were __11 __then __you __would__ have __certainly __be __clothed __in __green __and __silver__…' _

'_Then __there __is __Gryffindor __and __despite __your __recent __change __of __heart __and __your __loyalty __to __your __new __found __friends, __your __personality __wouldn__'__t __be __accepted __there __within __the __lions__' __den,__' _the hat paused, almost as if it were frowning as it said, _'__and __Hufflepuff __is __unthinkable.__Placing __you __there __would __never __work.__'_

Artemis sat there, feeling the urge to tap his foot in impatience but a Fowl never is impatient, only waiting for the right time to strike.

Dumbledore sat, waiting for the verdict, something which he was most looking forward to. This sorting was crucial as it determined the fates of a handful of people, and could potentially direct the future of this world.

The hat opened its' mouth and Dumbledore tensed slightly, waiting for the hat to announce the house.

"I can't sort you I'm afraid," the hat said and Dumbledore faulted, looking confused.

"What do you mean?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Well, in my opinion this boy should be a Professor if anything, his intellect outwits even yours old friend," the sorting hat explained, "I can't even begin to comprehend this child's mind, and while he fits within certain houses, his other qualities conflict with the sorting as they are characteristics of other houses."

Dumbledore almost bounced with glee. This was just perfect!

"Well then," Dumbledore said with a smile, "we'll just have to organize for something. How about this Artemis? What if you take classes with your fellow 5th year Gryffindors but dorm with the Slytherins? Does that sound reasonable to you?"

"I refuse to share a dorm with other human beings," Artemis stated, taking the hat off his head as he handed it over to the elderly male, taking a mental note to wash his hands thoroughly later, "I don't bode too well with other adolescence of my age."

Dumbledore took the hat and replaced it within his pocket, pursed his lips as the wrinkles on his face crinkled, "well…I'm sure we can arrange for something to be done."

"Thank you," Artemis said as he stared at the old man, his odd eyes scrutinising the male.

Dumbledore nodded before he said, "well, as you seem to have no house you will need to purchase plain black robes and I plain uniform. Instead of a house tie you are free to wear a plain black one in exchange."

Artemis nodded, although he was curious as to why he needed 'robes' to wear to a school.

Dumbledore stood, saying with a smile as he pulled out a piece of parchment from his pocket, "these are instructions on how to enter Diagon Alley where you will be able to purchase all of the necessary items for your schooling Artemis. I'm afraid I will not be able to attend your visit there and give you guidance as I must head back to the school but I'm sure that you will be more than capable of finding your way there."

Artemis nodded once, "I'm sure that I'll be more than capable."

The young boy stood, holding out a hand to the headmaster as he said calmly, "I appreciate you coming all the way out here sir."

Dumbledore looked at the hand in amusement before he shook it, replying with a chuckle, "oh really, it was no trouble. I wanted to be the one to welcome Hogwarts first transfer student. I hope your studies go well and I look forward to seeing you at school Artemis."

"I shall also be awaiting the day to arrive," Artemis said back.

Artemis showed Dumbledore to the door, curious as to how the man got here as he simply walked out the main gates at the end of the driveway with no car or vehicle in sight.

Walking back inside, Artemis returned to the sitting room, seating himself down in the chair he was in previously.

He folded his hands together; resting his chin atop of them as his elbows rested on the arm rests of the chair. Looking up at his companion, Artemis let a rare, real smile pass his lips as he said, "this will certainly be another adventure Butler my old friend."

Butler could only agree, this was definitely going to be one crazy year they were sure to have ahead of them.

Hearing the door open, Artemis turned his head to see his mother walked in laden with a tray of tea and cakes, the twins running in after her as they chased each other around, toy planes clutched in their hands.

"Oh, where did Mr. Dumbledore go Artie?" Angeline Fowl asked as she placed the silver tray on the small coffee table between the chairs.

"He's already left mother," Artemis said as he helped himself to a cup of tea, adding in a small tip of milk as he stirred it twice before lifting it to his lips.

Angeline took the seat opposite her son where Dumbledore had been seated earlier, picking up her own cup as she sipped at it, her small pinkie lifted into the air.

"Oh, that's too bad, I had even got out the nice china cups," Angeline said sadly before she perked up, asking her son, "and? What did Mr. Dumbledore wish to speak to you about Artie?"

"He's offered for me to attend a boarding school in Scotland mother," Artemis replied, "it's very prestigious within certain circles but it's got very high protection so you wouldn't know of it."

"Hm, well I hope I don't have to get any more calls from your teachers Artie about your rather rebellious attitude," Angeline said with a smile.

"Mother, it's hardly my fault if the teachers are incompetent and idiotic as their intelligence rivals that of a baboon," the young boy said plainly, sipping at his tea.

Angeline ignored her son's previous talks as she asked, "so what's the name of this mysterious boarding school?"

Artemis placed his cup back on the saucer, leaning back in his chair as he smiled at his mother, "it's a place called Hogwarts mother."

"That sounds like a nice place," replied the woman.

The twins ran around the chairs, making sound effects with their mouths as they zoomed around.

Artemis could only nod, shifting his leg to let his brothers run past as he replied, "yes, yes it does mother."

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